I am apparently NACHO witty, quick comeback, awesome TV MOM!

In the battles of toddlers and babies and sleep and feedings, it's relatively easy to be #winning! But, when they can talk and argue incessantly, it's becoming much more difficult than just standing my ground and waiting for their weak wills to give in. No, they are trying much harder these days to make my life infinitely more difficult.

Among the NACHO Mommies there's a bit of a competition going on. It used to be "step aside Mother of the Year is mine! I just dropped little Susie down the stairs..." that type of competition. Whoever had the more epic parenting fail would get the MOTY award. Now it's more about being the WORST! MOMMY! EVER!!! When I tell them I'm the Worst Mommy Ever, they all laughed and said "But I thought I was the Worst Mommy ever! That's what my kid just told me!"

So, the other day when "Katie" is screaming at me about being the WME (no, that's not a wrestling acronym) and how she "HATES" me, I get to thinking. I need TV writers to live in my brain and give me the perfect comebacks! Now, normally that type of thing would hurt my Mommy Ego, but she was pitching and EPIC fit about something so inane that I couldn't be bothered to let it bother me. That's when I realized, I'm NACHO comeback queen. I wondered if any of my friends in NACHO land could help me figure out how to handle the almost 7 yr. old girl drama? Is creating drama from nothing the new art form?

I find myself losing it more and more and really hate being the yelling Mommy. Can anyone help me write a script that will make life more like "Good Luck Charlie" and less like "All in the Family?"

Thanks, Bonnie

I am NACHO everything.

Sometimes I just need a break. A break from responsibility;from being a mother, daughter, wife, sister, cook, maid, organizer.. and on and on. I just want to be. Sit around for days with nobody needing me. Days where the only thing I need is coffee and my Kindle. Days where I'm not responsible for feeding 4 people and 2 critters. Days where I don't feel guilty lounging on the couch when there is a mountain of laundry to be done. It's probably not possible to be that carefree again. No matter how far away I go or how many "girl's nights" I have, all of that is still waiting for me at home. Sure I can put it off, but really that just makes it that much more daunting. It's not that I would trade my life for anything, it's just exhausting being everything to everyone all the time. There is hope though, I'm making teaching my kids to do more. Maybe by the end of this year I'll be less "everything" and more me.

-Thelma

NACHO therapist

So my parents are going through some marital issues. My mom is constantly calling me and over-sharing. It's like somewhere along the way I stopped being her daughter and became her friend. Not that I mind being her friend, but I think there are lines that should not be crossed. I don't want to hear about her issues with my dad. Afterall, he's still my father despite his many faults. Perhaps he sucks as a husband, or maybe not. Either way it's not my place to say. So today I'm enjoying my few hours of bliss (a.k.a. kid free time) with a trip to "the Motherland" (a.k.a. Target). As I'm casually perusing the aisles, my phone rings. It's my Mom. I hesitantly pick it up and she starts in on the latest drama. I think I may have hit my breaking point in that aisle. I am NACHO therapist. I don't want to hear about it. I don't want to be in the middle of it. I don't want to take sides. I think she's upset, but it had to be said or I'd be the one in need of therapy.

-Thelma

It's a NACHO Revolution!

I did it. I seized the day and went for it and the day is not over. We have a neighbor who thinks its okay to let her geriatric dog walk all over the neighborhood unsupervised. It has been bothering me for a long time and today was my breaking point. I had to stop for Old Yeller as it crossed the road, then I watched it take a $%*& on my lawn for the umpteenth time. I have been trying to be neighborly and not let it get to me. It's been hard! I mean we have tons of $%*& in our yard from our two dogs, so whats one more. Its enough, I tell ya! So, I took the bull by the horns or the dog by the collar in my case and walked it home. And kindly asked to come in for a minute. Then I dropped the bomb. Dont think I am getting a Christmas card this year. Boo hoo! But at least its once less pile of $%*& to clean up!

Oh, and today I made my boys buckle their own seat belts every time we got in the car. Yes, I have two five year old who have been spoiled by a mom in a hurry for years. If I do it, it just gets done faster. That's how I got myself into this dilemma in the first place. No more!

I'm "NACHO" nacho maker!

When my friend pitched this idea I was like "hell yeah!" I need to quit taking care of things because it's just easier! Easy is for lazy parents, right? (That's what playdates are for...keeping kids out of your hair because it easy - then just picking up the toys that the other kids went through like crack babies, because it's easier than getting OTHER people's kids to pick up at your own house. How mean is that?)

But I digress! How do I participate in a blog about being a "nacho mama" if I am not going to actively try to make my kids more independent and more self-sufficient? How to start?

1) Make a declaration (in order to make that stick, you must follow through - crap - what did I get myself into?)

I need baby steps, so I only have step 1 so far... But, I did it in WRITING. Now that I have have proficient readers, I find that to be a good place to start.

Great! I'm off to a running start! I put up the sign which the kids loved. They laughed about the nachos and Martin replied "YAY Nachos! I love nachos!"

So, when I served cornflake/ranch chicken he was deeply confused and upset!

Later when "Katie" says

to her brother "Hey "Justin", Mommy is NACHO maid" he says "I love nachos!"

Sigh...

Off to the gym! "Bonnie"

I am NACHO Keeper!

It feels like everyday I get bombarded with questions and requests. "Where are my keys?", "Have you seen my wallet?" , "Mom, where are my shoes?", "Help me find my glasses."... and on and on and on. I would love to know when I signed up to be the keeper of everyone's crap. How am I supposed to know where you left your "insert miscellaneous item"? I am not psychic or omnipotent. I haven't been secretly following you around watching you leave behind your belongings. Nobody helps me find my lost crap, so why should I find yours? Is it not enough that I have to remember every appointment and activity? Apparently not.  So lately, I've been replying to these requests with a simple "wherever you left it".  It doesn't stop the questions from coming every day, but I'm hoping that eventually these people in my house will get a clue that it is not my responsibility to be their keeper.

-Thelma

Enlisting "NACHO" help

I pitched my idea of "Nacho" Maid to my girls' weekend sisters. They took it hook, line, and sinker. We are all mothers of twins who share a common bond called insanity. Life with twins is well...exhausting. The older they get, the more complicated "it" gets and the more alcohol we consume each year we get together in May. This blog is an attempt to archive a year of friends who share baby steps forward and giant steps back to regain control of our homes, lives, and kids.

Notice how I put kids last?